How to Build Self-Confidence…

Self-confidence, the combination of self-efficacy and self-esteem, is an essential part of humanity. Self-efficacy is the internal sense, or belief that we can accomplish a variety of tasks or goals throughout life. Self-esteem is similar, but more related to believing we are generally competent in what we do, and that we deserve to be happy in life. A person with self-confidence generally likes herself, is willing to take risks to achieve her personal and professional goals, and thinks positively about the future.


Having high self-confidence can help you succeed in many areas of your personal and professional life, but many people struggle with low self-confidence. Improving your self-confidence may seem difficult, but the good news is that self-confidence is something that you can build on your own.  There are several simple things that you can do, such as using positive self-affirmations, challenging your negative thoughts, and trying new things. Keep reading to learn more about how to build self-confidence.

Talking about Self-Confidence, I want to share my personal experiences with you all how I build or increase my self-confidence. Since my childhood I was basically an average student and not so confident in life, i.e. lack of self-confidence. I was nervous at the time of exams and was not able to give my best at all because I had been nervous and confused about the answers instead of reading well.

The biggest problems I had to face at my engineering college where we had to give presentations about different subjects in front of all my classmates and faculty members. Those times were the scariest moments for me (more than a Hollywood horror movie) as my mind was occupied by thoughts like what others react when I will give the presentation or if I make a mistake everyone will laugh at me or if I forgot the content I will get lesser marks. The most ridiculous one is if others give a good presentation my confidence level will go down. You can notice that how I thought in a negative way due to lack of confidence.

What I should do that time is preparing my presentation speech without thinking about others reaction. Now in My MBA College I have to give presentations and I concentrate on the content and presentation styles rather than others’ reaction. There is one thought present in my mind always that I have to give my best each time. May be I can’t but I am satisfied because I know I had given my best.

Recently I had reached 500+ followers and some of my blogger friends who are new bloggers like me asked me how do I manage to get so many followers in such a short time? They can’t reach the level. I had told them to keep writing and try to give their best in each post. I hope that they all get more followers in the future. I believe that nobody is perfect in this world. So, trying to be perfect all the time gives us stress and lacks our self-confidence. Instead of being perfect we can try to be ourselves and try to improve our skills gradually.

About a year ago I was so scared of writing that while I write something on my Facebook profile and  I had to think so many times if I should write or not? Blogging was beyond my imagination. I figured out the reason of my fear and that was, I was scared not because of my poor writing skills. I was scared about how others react. As soon as I realized it I wanted to something new out of my comfort zone and I had decided to write blogs. So, I started blogging without wasting anytime.

I hope you will relate yourselves with my experiences and understand how much important self-confidence is for any person. Here are some steps which helps you to build your confidence level.

  1. Identify your negative thoughts. Your negative thoughts might sound like this: “I can’t do that,” “I will surely fail”, “no one wants to hear what I have to say.” This inner voice is bad and unhelpful and will hold you back from achieving high self-esteem and greater self-confidence.


  1. Determine if other people may be contributing to your confidence levels. Criticism from a friend or family member can also have a negative effect on your confidence. If you think that a friend or family member may be affecting your ability to be confident, you will need to find a way to deal with that person.


  1. Turn your negative thoughts to positive thoughts by challenging negative thoughts. Negative thoughts are common in all people, but they may be even more common if you have low self-confidence. It is important to acknowledge and challenge any negative thoughts that you have in order to improve your self-confidence. Practice acknowledging the thought and then saying what you do not accept it.

 Click Here to Read: How To Deal With Negative Thoughts

  1. Accept that you cannot change other people. Sometime people lack confidence because they rely too much on how other people react to them. In order to be more confident, you will have to accept that you cannot change other people and you cannot do anything about their reactions to you. All that you can control is yourself. Work on becoming more accepting of other people as they are. Avoid lecturing others on their faults or trying to get other people to change.


  1. Identify your talents. Everyone is good at something, so discover the things at which you are good, and then focus on your talents. Express yourself, whether it’s through art, music, writing, or dance. Find something you enjoy and cultivate a talent to go with your interest


  1. Work on your strengths instead of focusing on your weakness. Once you realize what you’re good at, work on those skills even more. This can boost your self-esteem and make you more confident. For example, if you know that you’re good at communicating with others, practice it and hone this skill. This may make it easier to strike up a conversation with someone new. This will be helpful for interviews.


  1. Don’t expect perfection. Remember that nobody is perfect. Don’t let frustration impact your self-esteem. This frustration can create insecurity and depression. Instead of focusing on areas you need to improve, acknowledge and appreciate what you are good at


  1. Improve your self-image. It’s easy to label yourself as shy and simply retreat from social interactions. Don’t associate being shy with being weird, or unusual. Instead, accept that you’re unique. You don’t have to fit in or be just like everyone else. Learn to improve your self- image.


  1. Be yourself. Be who you really are and express yourself. Don’t feel like you have to be the most outgoing, spontaneous person in the room. You can express yourself, even if it’s in a way that is quiet and subdued. Stop worrying about what others think. Being you is the most important way to boost confidence. Don’t force yourself to be comfortable and confident in every situation.


  1. Stop comparing yourself to others. If you want to build your self-confidence, then you have to focus on improving your own life for the better, not on making your life more like your best friend’s, your older brother’s, or like those of the celebrities you see on television.


  1. Recognize your insecurities. What makes you uncomfortable or ashamed of you? This could be anything from acne, to regrets, friends at school, or a past traumatic or negative experience. Whatever makes you feel unworthy, ashamed or inferior, identify it, give it a name and write it down. You can then tear or burn these written pieces to start feeling positive on those points.


  1. Bounce back from your mistakes. Remember that no one is perfect. Even the most confident people have insecurities. At some point in any of our lives, we may feel we lack something. That is reality. Learn that life is full of bumps down the road. And that often these insecure feelings come and go, depending on where we are, who we are with, the mood we’re in, or how we are feeling. In other words, they are not constant. If you’ve made a mistake, the best thing you can do is to recognize it, apologize, and make a game plan for avoiding it in the future.


  1. Use positive self-talk. Positive daily self talks can help you to be more confident. Take a few moments before you go to work or school to look at yourself in the mirror and say something encouraging to yourself. You can either say something that you believe about yourself or something that you would like to believe about yourself.


  1. Take care of yourself. Exercise, healthy food, rest, and relaxation are all important components in good self-confidence. By taking good care of yourself, you are sending your mind signals that you deserve to be taken care of. Make sure that you are devoting enough time to meeting your basic needs for exercise, food, sleep, and relaxation.


  1. Surround yourself with positive people. Other people can also have a big impact on your confidence levels. If you have a friend who often criticizes you or who has a negative attitude, it may be time for a change. You can also try talking to your friends about their negative comments to try to get them to stop saying things that damage your confidence


  1. Do something for others. Instead of focusing completely on your negative thoughts, distract yourself by considering other people. Take some time to help someone you know who needs it. The act of helping will not only benefit others, but it will build your confidence because you’ll see that you have a lot to offer.


  1. Learn to stay positive and calm. Part of being confident is projecting a positive attitude, even if other people try to bring you down. Remember that you are in control of you future, your goals, and your own happiness. If people try to damage your confidence, remind yourself of your accomplishments and admirable traits.


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64 thoughts on “How to Build Self-Confidence…

  1. This is a very helpful post and I was able to relate with the self confidence issue. It’s sometimes difficult to do what you want to do without thinking of what some other person would think about it. Of course we recognize that we shouldn’t let other people’s control our actions, but sometimes they just come, and no matter how you just want to do you, you can’t. The list on building self confidence was also useful.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much for reading Esther and sharing your wonderful feedback… I am very happy to know that you like this post and relate with it.. Keep reading my blog posts.. Don’t forget to share your feedback.. 🙂


    1. Thank you Be your own Charm for reading my blog post and sharing your wonderful feedback.. 🙂 Don’t focus on those insecurities. we all have this problem but it is better to focus on your strengths rather weaknesses.. the more you focus on your strengths, your insecurities will go away.. Don’t forget to inform how these tips works on you.. Keep reading my posts and be positive in your life.. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. great nuggets, Rashmi! we work so hard, trying to be perfect, but forget to forgive ourselves, miss completely taking time to build our positive self-image. Keep encouraging, I need the reminders! 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks Roxie for reading this post and sharing your wonderful feedback… Yes, trying to be perfect we want to become like another person and forget our original traits.. Of course I will. keep reading and keep sharing your feedback… 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Great article. So well-written and thought out. I think a lot of people would benefit from reading this.
    Have a read of my latest post: ‘Self-Efficacy: Turning Doubt Into Drive’, let me know what you think 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  4. This is amazing! Self-image is very important, because no one can rise about the image they have in their minds of themselves. Also, people with minimal self-esteem have a very low estimation of their inherent worth. You could have asked yourself the best way to develop confidence and I will advise you to enhance your self-esteem.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. The wife and I really love this blog and appreciate the creativity and inspiration you provide. Our minds are marvelous and capable of amazing feats, yet most people use them to do little jobs because they lack the confidence you identified in this article. If you ever want to take this blog to the next level by offering a Mobile App version my company Zenlight would love to help for an extremely low price, we appreciate the hard work you have put into this blog and wish you all future success in business and in life.

    Thank you for your time, it is the most precious thing we all possess.


    1. Thanks Jacque’ to you and your wife for reading my blog.. I’m glad you both loved it and appreciate my writings.. I’m extremely sorry for the late reply… I was busy for last couple of weeks due to some personal and professional issues… I haven’t decided about any app to launch.. If I require any app in future for my blog I’ll definitely contact you.. Thanks for the offer.. Keep reading and live a happy and peaceful life… 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I love this and I will take everything you said to heart. I just started a blog so I can track my growth because I have low self-esteem and I want to get better. You made so many good points that I will listen to. I hope that I will be able to gain my confidence back sometime in the next 6 months! Reading your post was a good start

    Liked by 1 person

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