At one point in our lives, we all question whether or not we are doing enough to fulfill our goals, making enough money, or if we are going to be “successful” enough. I know this as I’ve spent a long time of my life in a state of fear and self-doubt.
If you are like most people, you have a goal or a dream that is meaningful and that you want to achieve. That goal may be related to personal growth issues such as weight loss, gaining self-esteem, finding inner peace, overcome from a toxic relationship, increasing your energy levels, or overcoming depression.
Or, your goal may include going start your education again, entering a new career, or bringing your creative talents into a greater light. Having a goal is the easy part but attempting to move through your own inner obstacles can literally leave you terrified, completely paralyzed by your own fear.
If you have tried to reach your goal and stopped because of the encounter by an invincible obstacle, don’t give up. That is the nature of goals. They take you into new territory and bring you face-to-face with your own fears and doubts. The issue is not about how to avoid fear, but how to face it and overcome it by making positive as well as correct decisions that boost your confidence while fear is present.
Every day, many people give up on their dreams due to self-doubt and fear. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
Here are a few things that help with self-doubt and boost confidence that may help you:
Make a Decision
Once you define your dream or goal, decide that you want to live this kind of happy and satisfied life. This may seem basic but many people never decide and commit fully to their dream. They simply keep “thinking” about it. Or, when the first obstacle appears and they give up. Make a commitment to yourself. Right now is not the time to worry about how to make it happen, or how you are going to move through your challenges. Instead, plant the seed of your dream inside of you and you commit to loving this seed until the day you can harvest the fruits of your efforts.
Honor your commitment to self
No one can let you down more than you can think. Make a commitment about what you want and stand strong in your commitment. Don’t let fear get in your way. No matter how challenging, how fearful, or overwhelming it may seem, decide you are going for it. Why? For no other reason than because you want it. This is something you want for yourself and a choice you have made.
You are not your fear
As you move forward on your dream, doubt and fear are going to show up sooner than you might have expected. To move beyond fear, it is helpful to learn to separate yourself from your fear. Fear is not all of who you are; rather it is an emotion that you are experiencing. The key is to recognize your fear, avoid becoming identified with your fear, and take deep breaths. Breathing keeps energy moving and prevents you from being consumed in fear’s heavy embrace.
No matter how scary it seems, decide to sit with your emotion of fear for the purpose of accepting its presence, but not necessarily agreeing with its point of view. Acceptance helps because avoiding it doesn’t make it go away, looking the other way doesn’t make it disappear, and ignoring it does not make it any less painful. So, breathe. Then tell yourself that even though you are feeling intense fear, you can still take action. Look fear in the eye and let it know, “You can’t stop me”.
Change your attitude about failure
“You try things, some work, some don’t, and you do more of what works.” These simple words suggest that the formula for success is that if you want to grow and succeed, you also have to be willing to fail. Certainly, no one actually wants to experience failure.
However, if you want to succeed at something new, you will most likely experience setbacks, obstacles, and failures along the way. To be successful, redefine failure in a manner allowing you to see failure as “information.”Failure is really just feedback telling you to evaluate your experience, utilize the information gained to adjust your plan, and then try a new approach. When you experience a failure – get up, dust yourself off, access the information gained, revise your course, and begin again.
Build your inner confidence
Although achieving your dream will bring up stress, fear, doubt, this experience is what is necessary for a confidence breakthrough to occur. It is not enough to make self-supporting choices when your journey is not easy, you have to do it when it’s hardest to do so. That’s because to break through what is holding you back, you have to go through the fear and doubt. You can’t analyze how to avoid the experience. Making correct decisions under stress is what leads you authentic personal growth and solidifies inner change.
It’s the challenges of your journey that offer hundreds of opportunities to develop your confidence and gain mastery over your experiences. Every obstacle, setback, or failure offers you a new chance to believe in yourself instead of falling into doubt and fear.
Decide you don’t have to do anything
Here is an experiment. For the next 48 hours, eliminate the words “I have to” from your vocabulary and substitute the words “I choose to.” Instead of saying, “I have to move forward on my goal” say, “I choose to take this specific action step today.” Or, you could just as effectively say, “I choose not to take any action step today.” You set the priorities. You are responsible. You have control. Feel how empowering this simple change of words can be.
Ask yourself questions
Certain types of questions can lead you to gain new insights and new motivation. Ask yourself the following questions, allow yourself to answer them from your heart, and see where your truths take you:
Are your dreams important enough to change your daily lifestyle?
Do you want to be responsible for your own life decisions?
Do you have the courage to go after what you want and see it through?
Can you accept that the fear is part of the journey and move forward anyway?
Being able to overcome your fear and doubt you can bring your dreams into the reality of life which is one of the best experiences in the world. Take control of your life by practicing these simple steps and learn how to tame your fear and create a happier, more successful life.
What do you think about this topic?
Did I miss any important point?
Let me know in the comment box below.
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